Hey everybody,

I have a new userid under monstressity.livejournal.com

Please update me on your friends list b/c I will no longer be posting here.

Thanx!

The last post kinda got me started on the right track and suffice to say, I no longer work at Eastmont. My new schedule at Allied which lets me awake at the ass crack of dawn to head to work. I do get out early but I am back at the chicken house. Why? Just got a raise and better pay than Eastmont. I have to live.

I have a new addition to my apartment. He is a 10 pound chocolate Cocker Spaniel named Tony Montana and he is my baby. A little honorary but what else would you expect from a puppy and he has his little sweet sides and habits that I absolutely could never live without. Unfortunately, my baby has put me in a real jam and I'm utterly broke for the next few weeks but if I am out on the streets, all I care is if I have him.

My mom has been trying to hook me up with this fellow that used to live with her and he works with her at the gas station. His name is Mike and he's my age. A bigger guy with blonde spiky hair and insanely goofy but he likes the same things I like. A few weeks ago during the time that I found out that a guy from the chicken/seafood house, I should say, I went to visit my mom at work to get a drink and just chat. He happened to be there and it was rather obvious he did like me. Mom kept running out to help customers and he just blurts out, "I think your mom is trying to set us up. I would totally date you." I didn't know what to say because I have never had anybody be that blunt or actually really say that to me.

So I told him I would think about it and my mom ended up giving him my phone number. He let me borrow "Johnny the Homicidal Maniac" and the Stella show from Comedy Central. Stella was not that great there a few token episodes that were worth the watch, the rest kind of sucked. Johnny was pretty sweet! Mike finally calls me to chat and we decide to have a play date on Wednesday as that was when I started my vacation.

I went to his place and we watched "Boondock Saints", went to Granite City, played "Kingdom Hearts", and fucked. I had a really good time. He invites me back over to watch "What Dreams May Come" when he gets off at 9 and I said sure.

My friend, Patty, from work invites me to go see "Resident Evil: Extinction" with her and her brother but I tell her that I had plans for the evening. 10 pm comes around and no phone call so I text to ask if he is off yet.

I got a few texts from Patty to see how things were and I told her he hasn't called yet. I get a text at 3 in the morning from Mike "Yeah". WHAT THE FUCK!

I can't stress enough how much I don't get guys and I discussed this with Patty as to why we keep going back to them. We're both Bi so I explained that's why I wanted to be in a relationship with a girl but ya know, everybody brings a lot of drama so I don't know really.

There's always Dillon from work but what else am I supposed to expect from a guy. They are all the same.

Just thought I would rant. Sometimes makes me feel better.

Since Victoria's Secret is finishing up with their sem-annual sale, I figured I would do a sem-annual journal entry just to get the ball rolling on what is going on with Christie. I had actually purchased a domain name for a personal blog but for some reason, I think I will turn it into an actual site. I'm still unsure of how much I am wanting the world to read my personal life but in some light, I would like the feedback sans the stalkers.

Life has been slightly crazy. I had a falling out with one of my best friends, Danielle. The girl is uncontrollable and felt the need to lie through her nasty herpes infested teeth to me about telling a shall we say "mandatory secret" she should reveal to every guy she meets prior to fucking them. She brought it on herself basically and ya know, for someone to inquire upon my expert services of advice, she never listened to a goddam word I had to say in the first place. Where did this get her? Well...I will just say sleeping with five different guys in five days gets you quite a few additions to your personal being. I don't tolerate that and I'm tired of her using my toilet. I honestly do a massive sanitation of it after she insists on using it whenever she came over. I know incredibly weird of me and I'm more than positive to receive a few responses to your general "You can't get an STD from a toilet seat" but she's weird. Nuff said.

My part time work of residence is opening their great big store tomorrow and I am to go utterly blind into the work. Why? Teri, the complete insolant manager she is, realizes that I have a full time job in addition to this one but fails to inform me of plans in advance. When I hear the words "I will give you a call" my heart skips a beat as she never does call it's just a usual rhythm. What's funny about this is she wonders why she is not the general manager of the new KFC/LJS? Who would do such a thing and report her as not being the manager that she should be to the area coach? I wonder...

Anyways, I have acquired a new job at Eastmont alongside my good friend, Nicole, who was nice enough as well to reference me. The interview wasn't your average interview as I wasn't asked any questions. The jobs were described to me and I just picked and told him I could work in two weeks. I wish all interviews came that easy. John was a fun guy too and I don't mean the mushroom. Ha! So I will be working with Nicole as wait staff which sounds easy enough task to do. I just need to go buy new shoes because the ones I have been wearing for the chicken shack are my regular shoes and I need some black work shoes.

On the money front, I seem to be behind on some bills just a medical bill really. This sucks very much as I am to come up with a lot of money by the end of the month to satisfy the bill.

This in turn means that I may have to break my lease where I'm at and consider renting out a house with my sister. ::shudders:: Actually in some light it might not be that bad considering our work schedules are opposite but she is a pig no less and she does not clean up. Which is why I think it would be better to live in a house where I could pretty much have my own area and she have hers. Plus this will help me out with payments a month. I would have more money for bills and for shopping. What a deal.

I have been talking to this guy I went to school with. His name is Matt and no it's not the Pretty Soldier but another guy who is into comics...like me. He seems to remember me pretty well which is funny because I remember him too I just can't put a last name with him. Anyways he had mentioned he remembered me because I liked Psylocke. He mentioned we had a class together but I can't even remember it and I have excellent memory. His facial features are exactly the same but man, he has totally buffed up and muscles/wrestlers totally turn me on ;) Matt was really skinny back in the day but now he claims boxing has helped him with this new body of his which I don't doubt but man...hot! So he wants to hang out at the arcade at the mall one of these days and I agreed to it when my schedule hit an area that was agreeable with both of ours. Kinda ironic because I was going to ask him to hang out but he beat me to the punch and I am really jonesing over this guy. Too cool to be forgotten right? Sha!

There it is. There is much more but I feel that these are the biggest that I haven't mentioned. I may post more it helps me a bit to get things out. I've been keeping a journal at home to write thoughts and dreams down but I find typing is more convenient for me. When I write I am thinking of too much all at once to write down but I am a fast enough typer to catch things.

Hope everyone is having a swell summer. Keep it real my peeps.

I can't get this out of my head but I had a dream about Jeff, one of Jarred's friends, last night. I don't want to say I have a crush on the guy, he was the only decent looking one of Jarred's little group of friends. Plus he had a goatee and I go crazy over them.

Basically he was just hitting on me and tried to get me to sleep with him and then found some gothic chick he knew from elementary school and told me we'd meet up later. I found a weird building that was part mental assylum/maze and part castle. Don't ask. I made my way through tunnels and a woman I work with at Allied that I don't know that well, followed me throughout. She seemed to glide off the ground as she followed me.

I began keeping track of my dreams but some of them the weirdest shit happens and I can't even fathom to explain in writing what happened or what things were.

Today was actually decent for a Monday. I get home and this guy I used to chat with about a year ago that I've been chatting with briefly has sent me an e-mail and immediately wants to talk. He knows exactly how to say the wrong things at the wrong time and just says the weirdest things. To top it off, he recites to me comic stories or myths I already know about. It's incredibly irritating and he's determined to finish a Deathbird sketch and send it to me via snail mail. I told him no I just want it scanned and sent on the internet. Not that I really have to worry about him trying to find me, he's in Canada and most likely won't leave there. He lives with his grandmother and uses that as a crutch for him not having a job. He goes to school for art or something but he's a granny's boy and for me...that's a total turn off.

It's getting kind of late for me and I still need to write a few things elsewhere. Goodnight all!

Wow has it been awhile or what? Life has been grand. I am at a point now where I smile all day long except for when I'm working. I shouldn't say all day long then huh?

Chad and I are back to talking with one another. We want to date it's just a matter of finding out when are schedules work. I'm sure we will get something going in the next week or two. I really really hope something comes out of this. I've known him for nearly eight years and the thing is, he liked me back in the day too and that's sort of what I like about him. We have a lot of fun when we did work together but we never hung out outside of work. He's shy but he's good for me and I think I for him.

I have lost all loose ends, I'm hoping, to my stalker. Oh I don't think I have revealed info on this douche bag. Danielle decided to lovingly hook me up with a needy, trashy, nitwit that she said would make a perfect match for me. The guy called me non stop and actually doesn't say anything to me while in person. I made it clear to him on Friday night that we would not make a good match and I told him that Danielle had a major crush on him. Ain't I a stinker?

Danielle has been calling me quite a bit now and to be honest, I can't stand talking to her. You can only hear so much of her life every single day to the point that you don't care. It's funny how she looks at others and claims their problems are horrid but they are her problems too. I don't get it and I never will. I don't think I care enough anymore to deal with her.

I received a phone call from my sister today. Apparently, unbeknownst to myself, I was in the hospital as I could not hold down food. This was according to my aunt who I haven't spoken a word to in a good ten years and have had no recent contact with. My great aunt, Marilyn, is in the hospital but I don't know where she gets that shit from.

Regardless I need to get some rest this week. My New Year's Resolution is going to be able to get some sleep in now and then. I can't take naps and I almost can't get to sleep anymore without worrying about something but I'm working on it.

Algebraic!

Christmas was pretty swell this year. I stayed over at my dad's. I felt like I lived there. It was kinda nice it was just my brother, dad, Kathy, and myself. Jenny had come over Christmas Eve with her boyfriend. For someone to sit there and say my boyfriend was a nerd I can't exactly put Travis into a category. He seems nice and Jenny basically has him whipped. I actually talked to her. Her brain cells are deteriorating at a rapid pace I've come to find.

I enjoyed my four days off. My only regret was that I didn't finish or almost touch "Eragon". It's actually a pretty neat story, the author Christopher Paolini is only a year older than I. I have a few more on my list I want to get finished "Darkly Dreaming Dexter" (Amy and Roger burned the first season for me on DVD), "30 Days 30 Nights", and "The Ruins".

I have Monday off so I am trying to finish up "Eragon" in the next few days then start in on the others.

I got a surprising phone call last night. It was from Chad. I haven't talked to the guy in say two months and just out of the blue he phones me. We talked for almost an hour. I couldn't figure out why he wouldn't talk to me and I told him "You know me by now and I am not going to pursue somebody/something if they will not communicate with me". We got things sorted so we are cool again. I was pretty happy he called, I've known him for a really long time and for him to mess it up was truly his own fault. He learned his listen well.

I went to talk to Teri today and Tina had come up to me and told me that Chad was really excited we patched things up. As I was leaving he was coming in and we waved to one another. I miss working with the guy...when he's not drunk and shows up on time.

All in all, work was boring but the day itself was pretty laid back. I wish more days were like this.

Yesterday was absolutely boring. I need to figure out what do with my weekends...seriously!

Danielle called and wanted to go to Priscilla's which I was kinda against but what else was I gonna do? So we went there because she needed a whip. Yes. So we ended up going to Doctor John's all the way out to the airport because she had to have one. I bought some really good cone incense: Cinnamon and this stuff called Heavenly--which it is. She ended up finding a "paddle" and purchased the incense. You go into a porn shop to buy incense. Right...

I had never been into a porn shop so this was a treat for me. I happened to come upon some dildos and I'm not trying to sound nasty but good god! There is was this one with suction on the bottom, to be honest, I think only a black woman could masturbate with that because 10 inches around ain't gonna fit in mine that's for sure.

Went home and pretty much did nothing. Kinda sulked but I think I have come to a realization, I've been over Jarred for awhile but I was at a point that if he called I would be thrilled but it almost doesn't matter anymore. I broke up with him and he did change after we broke up I guess that's why I wanted to get back together but I guess he is either too busy helping his mom move or just doesn't want to call.

Anyways, gotta eat my dinner early before I had to the chicken place.

This past week has been a week of total stress.

To sum a few things up, the war between Ryan and myself is getting bloodier so I had to take matters into my own hands...basically I just went to Teri and Mike and explained the situation to them. The guy is harassing me and basically trying to intimidate me. Mike said he would talk to Ryan about it and that we should have our schedules changed so we don't work together. That's fine and dandy but the guy seemingly only wants to come in when he doesn't work. How does that help things?

Went to see "The Holiday" with Nicole on Friday. Kate Winslet, my favorite actress, was in it along with Jack Black, Jude Law, and Cameron Diaz. I think the movie could have done without Diaz maybe Amanda Peet in place of her, I just don't care for her and I think she is a terrible actress. That aside, the movie was wonderful and I'm not a very big romantic comedy go getter but this was fantastic. The soundtrack was really awesome and the sad thing is I can't even find it yet.

That marked the highlight of the week, from another low point I got my "Excelsis: Dark Noel" gothic christmas CD. The case itself was busted and the CD is cracked so it won't play. I have taken the liberty to open a dispute with not only Paypal but Square Trade. The guy is being a douche about it too. "I was willing to help you with this but since you're being nasty by taking it to this forum." Alright so I didn't get insurance with it but the guy packaged a CD in this paper thin envelope. I shouldn't have to purchase insurance so that he would properly package something so if it were handled incorrectly, this would not be an issue. I'm trying to get a refund which I'm honestly unsure of what will happen. I think my points are much more valid than his and we will just have to see the outcome.

On a much more positive note, I will be seeing a stress counselor provided free from Allied. Basically it's a phone session and I received the packet yesterday. They discuss stress factors and it's like an eight week program so I'm hoping this helps a bit because I am getting edgier as days progress and it hurts more than ever.

Also, I have decided after a long hiatus True Psyche shall return. It will follow by with a Deathbird, Copycat, and possibly a Carnage site. I'm very much looking forward to it because I haven't worked on a site in months and I have some great ideas for all of them. It's really all a matter of finding a good hosting provider.

Onto my Christmas list:

*European or New York black futon
*Robo Reptile--I saw these in the store and almost died they look so fun!
*DVD/CD storage unit that can hold many DVDs and CDs
*Bistro chair and table set
*DVD player--The one on my TV doesn't work on some DVDs and I hear that using the DVD player option on PS2 wears the life span down on the system.
*PS3
*Glass or black desk for my laptop and accessories

I'm sure I can think of more but this is the jist.

Last Wednesday went to se Casino Royale with Matt and Nicole. It was pretty fun but the movie was crazy long and there were obvious ways to edit out some of the movie. Strange thing is I saw Jarred at the movie theatre but didn't realize it was him until I saw him walking with his gal pals Bob and Jeremy. That's the second time I have seen him at the same theatre to see the same movie at the same time? Coincidence or destiny is my guess.

I called him up on Thanksgiving to check up on him since he does take the time to inform me of his life and I, mine. In some strange way I regret breaking up with the fellow but another part of me wanted to break up a few weeks prior to our finale. I shouldn't say finale as I think as of now we are just at friend status. Lately though I have been thinking a lot about him, mainly because he makes me worried about his health for example.

I just found out the guy has Diabetes Type 1 instead of 2 so he has to do the whole insulin shots deal. He was in the hospital the 16th straight to the Sunday and he didn't call me because he didn't want me to "worry". ::scoff:: His attitude on life as he recalls is just a "don't give a damn what people say or think" even though deep at heart he feels differently. He never did take care of himself though. He always ate fast food or didn't eat at all even when I offered to cook for hiim but he is so goddam picky about what he eats. I'm the same way but it's not like I couldn't fix meals for him.

So anyways to my point, I never fell out of love for him so to speak but now that we are talking almost on a regular basis my feelings for him are a lot stronger. I almost wanted to jump up and down in glee when he told me he cancelled his Warcraft account. I was shy of saying "I told you so" but women are always right when it comes to these things. I think too that he still has feelings for me it's just a matter of both of us getting together. I invited him over to check out my new apartment and he told me he would definitely come over but he hasn't called for a few days.

I really want things to work for us. He's the only guy that has ever really called me back except for Matt but friends don't count. We'll see but I hope it's good.

If I haven't already declared I am proudly all moved into my apartment. The only things I have yet to unpack are my X-Men figures because I have nowhere to display them.

Everything is okay pretty much. I talked to my neighbor, Robin, who lives above me. I left her a note about a week as I heard a dog howling in her apartment everytime she left. I told her I wasn't trying to start anything as I had just moved in. She came down yesterday and told me she didn't have a dog but that her boyfriend hears it too. Kinda strange I don't hear it at all anymore... She came to tell me she wasn't trying to be a snob about it and ignore the letter but that she didn't have a dog.

Thanksgiving was pretty swell. The food was okay, Kathy has a strange sense of cooking things that should not be cooked together.

I have basically done nothing all weekend but lounged around. I did manage to get the shit off my backporch that the bitch left and they felt they didn't need to scrap. She had propane bottles and all sorts of junk. Now it's just a matter of sweeping it up and making it my own. I've actually got it planned out to start a garden in the spring. It's gonna be awesome.

I'm getting slightly tired but I felt the need to leave a lengthy post as I haven't been posting for awhile.

I have a major project ahead of me that I have been flowing through my head for the past month for a Scarlet Witch site. I really need to have some project to work on so that I just don't do nothing on my weekends or time off and I'm more than postive this would help.

Goodnight.

Here I am. Long time no post eh? Life is busy, hectic but most of all crazy. After handing over my complete utilites and rent to my mother, she took that as "Since I, Mother of this child, have no money for the electric bill, I shall take my daughter's money and put it to that. That way we can live without internet and cable." Most of all was the fact afterwards she tried to make it seem like I knew it was coming. That was sweet of her.

With that said I decided to embark, and now stop me if I have posted this b/c I have yet to check my previous posts, on a journey of my own. You all thought I would never leave the country and look one and all. I am in Paris! Yes it is true. After American civility left my conscious I felt the only way to live would be that of a Frenchwoman. So here I shall remain.

Or not. I lie.

I'm actually moving...again. This Friday I will be assisted by Jarred and Joe. Pretty odd combination but I'm trying to get this done as fast and efficient as possible.

That said I thought I would update you all that I'm still alive.

Ok I really take back that last post. I can't believe I even wrote that. Last night justified why we used to always fight and how annoying he is.

I feel better.

I really hate admitting when I like someone that I would obviously never crush on but I am totally crushin on Ryan and I honestly cannot tell why. I slept with him a month ago that Friday that I picked the rest of my stuff up from Jarred's and I clearly knew what I was doing. I think though that at the time I was hoping for something to happen and we both didn't pursue anything. He had been trying to date me for awhile but I was dating Jarred. At work now, he doesn't give me a hard time about things and he's actually decent to me and he still flirts with me. I don't understand it at all but I seriously have a thing for him.

I've had a few dreams about him in the past two weeks about us sleeping together again and to be perfectly honest, the sex wasn't even that great but I really like hanging out with him. I just don't know what to do. I need Amy dammit! I mean this is something I can figure out on my own but her advice is just dead on and insanely helpful and she really does help me a lot. She helped me with Jarred.

Wednesday Joe and I are going to do our apartment searching. It should be fun because I can't wait to get out of here.

Peace.

So sometimes things bite ya when you lease expect it and it just seems that I've almost come to terms with becoming a lesbian.

I was talking with Ryan and Evan at work yesterday and Ryan inquired about last Thursday, apparently I was rubbing up on a fellow co-worker, Joe. I have not. For one, I would have considered it to be a joke because I simply don't like Joe and have no interest other than I need a roommate and he was available. Ryan said that Chad had gotten pissed and said that I was rubbing up on Joe which pissed me off. I called Chad last night and talked to Teri about speaking with him. Apparently the whole store seems to think we belong together and though I don't mind the idea, he is very good looking and I have had a crush on him and I knew he has had a thing for me. So why the hell not?

I believe he works tonight so we'll see what happens with that. I think we're over the fishing and ready to do something slightly bigger. Methinks.

Got into another raging battle with the old lady last night. I don't feel comfortable with her nasty old grisly boyfriend staying the night especially since I scamper around in my underwear. My mom's response to me being uncomfortable and my security at stake was, "Why doesn't anybody want me to be happy?" ::slams head into the wall::

So now I'm looking for either an efficiency or one room apartment for a decent price. I can afford it, I hope, but the thing with Joe is off.

Had an enjoyable weekend with Danielle and Carrie. Hadn't seen either for a long time and I got a bit of jewelry out of the trip and some pants. You can never go wrong with that.

I need to call Rachel at work. Her cell phone isn't working.

I really am hoping tonight goes a better and I'm hoping Chad will talk to me. I don't know where he gets the idea that I would be rubbing against Joe.

Just a spoonful of sugar will help the medicine go down. The medicine go doowowwown the medicine go down. Just a spoonful of sugar will help the medicine go down. In the most delightful way.

It's like a theme song for me today because today in comparison to the past few weeks was considerably great. To start, I finally got off my ass to get a new phone from Alltell. Meridith joined me on my journey as it was about a half hour wait. I ended up getting this cool black racecar flip phone which she mocked profusely due to some of it's car features on the phone which I have altered and fixed so it didn't annoy me :) Oh and I got a new phone number. I figured a fresh start meant a fresh number.

I'm going back to work part time at KFC. I got my medical bill from St. Elizabeth and it was 1278 which was insane but they put me on 200 mL of Saline so I guess that comes into play. Still ridiculous so now I'm on the 100 dollars a month plan. Yay.

Our training class got results from last week in and I did so awesome. Amy almost made me wet my pants today with her as she deems it "2nd Grade" humor. I think she's hilarious. She just comes out and says the oddest things at random it catches you off guard. I almost expect it now but she even surprises myself. So yes quality and productivity were super on last Friday but Natalie had us only turned on to Misc changes so I was doing basically QPC audits for the entire afternoon. I'm a pro at them.

It's insanely unlikely for myself to have such a rare day where I can just think on it and say "Wow, that was nice" and this is one of those days. Almost sweet enough to delve into my zucchini or pumpkin bread project. Raise the roof!

When I start back next week, I will be looking for a roommate to move in with or for them to move in with me somewhere. I cannot live with my mother anymore and I can't believe I have for so long.

Goodnight.

There's a reason why I never dated to begin with and Jarred quite frankly is the ultimate reason why I probably won't again. I broke up with his sorry ass on Monday, our six month anniversary, due to him playing that fucking Warcraft. So I dropped off his key and took my stuff. So on Friday I went by to pick up the rest of my things and I asked him why he would do that and he got onto this pathetic spiel about how I never call him and how I need to be needy. Whatever! I am not going to plea over him. So I did cry and he says "See ya around". Yeah right, I took all the stuff we did together and stuff he bought me and put it in a shoebox. Deleted his number off my phone. I see him still calling me but I really don't want to deal with him.

So alls well ends well. I slept with Ryan on Friday and I still need to tell Meridith about that because she's friends with him. Saturday I slept all day because Ryan snores so I was up all night. I will say this, he goes a lot longer than Jarred did.

But anywho, slept all day Saturday and it was wonderful because it was cold and rainy all day. I went to church with my mom today which was odd and I probably won't go again. It was insanely intense.

But I may finally get to fish this week. Chad is finally taking me fishing because I never had and Jarred wouldn't do it after he told me he would.

Well I had an eventful day at work today.

Around 10:30 we were in another training room. After standing for 20 minutes, I collapsed to the ground and was unconscious for 2-3 minutes. I woke up remembering nothing and was so confused at what was going on. Drew was hovering above me and I everybody was asking me questions.

The paramedics came in and took me on a gurney to St. Elizabeth. They pumped me full of 200 Liters of Saline. I've never had an IV put into my hand it wasn't that bad until the lady pulled it out. True pain, best believe.

Came home and have basically rested the rest of the day. It was just surreal because I never thought that would have happened to me and it did. Pretty scary event.

All of quality was staring at me when I was leaving. I shouldn't worry about it so much but I was almost embarassed and this guy in the training room, who has a crush on me, gave me a flower from Tropical Day. It was so sweet, he said if he knew it would have been a problem he would have given me his chair.

It really figures that once things start going well for me, something happens to tumble that good feeling. It's usually not just one thing but a series of things.

I was so excited for Friday to roll around. Friday is my favorite day of the week, always has been. Day started out pretty normal I was feeling really great and I couldn't wait to get off work to go stay at Jarred's for the weekend. Work was pretty much downhill. I got a fax back from some cunt agent on a UMPD coverage change I had asked about. I told her I couldn't process it until they sent the specific coverage but the lady wanted to be a bitch. That's fine.

AWD, the program we work off of, was just in slow motion all day and I was worried my productivity was going to fall because of this. Also, it seemed like most of the amendments we were trying to issue wouldn't go through. A real pain in the ass. By 3:15 we all jetted out the door.

Stopped by Dad's to drop off Johnny's cards for his 16th birthday. I only gave him 20 dollars because I rarely talk to him and he doesn't bother to call me so, at least I gave him something right? I went to Jarred's and he was tired and a little grumpy. Told him I had a shitty day and he told me the same with him. Only his was more worse because his mom is thinking of selling the business, they're in debt and now he feels it's partially his fault which it isn't. The way it was explained to me is that his sister creates a lot of unneccessary drama for Julie and quite frankly, their mother doesn't deserve that. I absolutely adore Julie. One of the first things I worried about when I first started to date Jarred was if his mom was going to like me and she does and she is such a sweet and cooky lady.

We went to Best Buy and then ate dinner. Went back to his place and watched Fullmetal Alchemist DVDs. It was a really great evening. Morning to afternoon was shit but the rest of the evening was fantastic!

Saturday rolls around and all he plays all day is Warcraft. Now I will play too, I'm really happy with playing my Shaman but I'm not as ecstatic about the game as he and quite frankly, Saturdays and Sundays have become the worst days because he does these little things called raids in the game that take from anywhere to 3-10 hours to do. Jarred likes to stay up late playing them which I hate.

So I left early today and just basically ran out. I'm sick and tired of being bored over at his house while he fucking raids and I get to do nothing. I come home and I see that our electric bill is 112 bucks. Now I'm just furious because I have done everything in my power this month to keep the bill low but no, my mom fucks it up and thinks that I don't know about it. She's been keeping the air on all night and jacking the thing down to a cooler temp when I'm not home. That is the ONLY explanation for why our bill is so high.

All in all, at this point I just want to take a break from everything and just stay in a desserted place all by myself and just sleep away all my troubles. Suicide is not an option for me I'm not that desperate but goddam, just as my life starts coming out right, it gets shot down by problems.

Sooooo....

A turn of events in the past few weeks. I realize I haven't posted in awhile yet I also realize there is probably only one or two people that actually read my journal.

I started the new job as an official Auto Processor at Allied on the 17th. I've been doing really well in training and I've met a great group of people along the way. I also see a lot of people I didn't like going to school with. I'm hoping I don't have to work with these people.

I basically quit KFC. Teri forgot to pay me my vacation time and she fucked up my schedule so needless to say, I wasn't exactly thrilled to be returning so I sent her a voicemail because she was in Canada last week and told Mike and Anthony that this week would be my last. I felt like shit yesterday, it was Monday for one and I had a bad headache, didn't feel up to working at the chicken hell hole so nobody would cover my shift so I ended up working till 8 and finally left. I got people to cover the rest of my shifts the rest of the week. In some way I feel much freer but I'm going to miss a lot of people there.

That said, my life has consisted of mainly of working and spending the weekends with the Rod. I really miss him during the week. I can only really stay on Fridays and Saturdays with him because of the early work schedule and our weekends have been mostly warcrafting. Ain't that sweet. I am crazy tired.

Stay out of the heat.

Jarred and I basically had our first fight. Had to do with the 4th of July and him ditching me. He didn't consider it ditching but it was and he actually said I "bailed" on him.

We talked it out yesterday and he said a few things to me that just kinda made me mad and sad at the same time. I'm kinda at a loss. I really don't know what to do and actually feel like crying right now.

I considered breaking up with him but I really can't live without him and him becoming a "friend" again, would make things awkward and we would end up sleeping together and hooking back up. I can't win but after the whole talk things have been kind of weird.

He said something about hanging out with his friends more because he spends a lot of time with me. My only thoughts on this are he is the one that said he would like me to be here when he gets off of work... Thursday I spent the part of my day with Rachel and the other part with Meridith and I think it pissed him off that he wasn't there with me that day.

Meridith suggested we only spend like 3 days a week together which I think would probably help things out.

Meridith and I went to Cari's baby shower today which was pretty decent. I get home and he went to Jeremy's which is fine but I usually spend the weekend's with him and I haven't seen him all week. We have our vacation coming up and I'm having mixed feelings about it. I don't want to lose him but I feel like he's losing me.

SUPPOSEDLY if you've seen over 90 movies, you have no life. Mark the ones you've seen. There are 190 movies on this list. Put your score in header and repost:

(x) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
( ) Boondock Saints
(x) The Mexican
(x) Fight Club
(x) Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story
( ) Blazing Saddles
(x) Airplane
Total: 8

(x) The Princess Bride
(x) Young Frankenstein
(x) AnchorMan: The Legend of Ron Burgandy
(x) Napoleon Dynamite
(x) Labyrinth
(x) Saw
(x) Saw II
(x) White Noise
(x) White Oleander
(x) Anger Management
(x) 50 First Dates
(x) Jason X
Total: 12

(x) Scream
(x) Scream 2
(x) Scream 3
(x) Scary Movie
(x) Scary Movie 2
(x) Scary Movie 3
(x) American Pie
(x) American Pie 2
(x) American Wedding
Total: 9

(x) Harry Potter
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
(x) Harry Potter 4
(x) Resident Evil I
(x) Resident Evil 2
(x) The Wedding Singer
( ) Little Black Book
(x) The Village
(x) Donnie Darko
(x) Lilo & Stitch.
( ) Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch has a Glitch
Total: 10

(x) Finding Nemo
(x) Finding Neverland
(x) Signs
(x) The Grinch
(x) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
(x) White Chicks
(x) Butterfly Effect
(x) Thirteen Going on 30
(x) I, Robot
total: 9


(x) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
(x) Universal Soldier
( ) A Series Of Unfortunate Events
(x) Along Came Polly
(x)Deep Impact
(x) KingPin
(x) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
(x) Meet the Fockers
(x) Eight Crazy Nights
(x) Joe Dirt
Total: 10

(x) A Cinderella Story
(x)the Terminal
(x) the Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
(x) Dumb & Dumberer
(x) Final Destination
(x) Final Destination 2
( ) Final Destination 3
(x) Halloween
(x) The Ring
(x) The Ring 2
Total: 10

(x) Harold & Kumar
(x) Practical Magic
(x) chicago
(x) ghost ship
(x) From Hell
(x) Hellboy
(x) Secret Window
(x) I Am Sam
(x) The Whole Nine Yards
Total: 9

(X) The Day After Tomorrow
(x) Child's Play
( ) Seed Of Chucky
(x) Bride of Chucky
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
(x) Just Married
(x)Gothika
(x) Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles
(x) Remember the Titans
( ) Coach Carter
(x)Bad Boys
Total: 10

(x)bad Boys 2
(x) Joy Ride
(x) Se7en
(x) Ocean's Eleven
(x) Ocean's Twelve
(x) Identity
( ) Lone Star
(x) Bedazzled
(x) predator I
(x) Predator II
TOTAL: 9

(x) Independence Day
(x) Cujo
(x) A Bronx Tale
(x) Darkness Falls
(x) Christine
(x) ET
(X) Children of the Corn.
(x) My Boss' daughter
(x) Maid in Manhattan
(x) Frailty
Total: 10

( ) Best Bet
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(x) She's All That
( ) Calendar Girls
(x) Sideways
(x) Mars Attacks
(x) Event Horizon
(x) Ever After
(x) forrest gump
(x) Big Trouble in Little China
Total: 8

(x) X-Men
(x) X-Men2
(x) X-Men3
(x) spider man
(x) Spider-Man 2
(x) Sky High
(x) Jeepers Creepers
(x) Jeepers Creepers 2
(x) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Others
(x) Freaky Friday
(x) Reign of Fire
(x) Cruel Intentions
(x) cruel intentions 2
(x) The Hot Chick
Total: 15

(x) Swimfan
(x) Miracle
(x) Old School
(x) The Notebook
(x) K-Pax
(x) lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
(x) A Walk to Remember
(x) Boogeyman
Total: 10

(x) Hitch
(x) The Fifth Element
(x ) Star Wars Episode I The Phantom Menace
( ) Star Wars Episode II Attack of The Clones
( ) star Wars Episode III Revenge of The Sith
(x) Star Wars Episode IV A New Hope
(x) star Wars Episode V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Episode VI Return of The Jedi
(x) beverly hills cop
(x) the faculty
Total: 8

(x) Air Force One
(x) For Richer or Poorer
(x) Trainspotting
(x) People Under the Stairs......
( ) Blue Velvet
(x) Sound of Music
(x) Parent Trap (original)
(x) Parent Trap (w/ lindsay lohan)
(x) The Birds
(x) The Terminator
(x) Terminator-2
(x) Terminator-3
Total: 11

(x) Empire Records
(x) SLC Punk
(x) Meet Joe Black
(x) Nightmare Before Christmas
(x) The Silence of the Lambs
(x) Sleepy Hollow
( ) I Heart Huckabees
( ) 24 Hour Party People
( ) Blood In Blood Out
Total: 6

(x) Thirteen Ghosts
( ) Manic
(x) American History X
(x) Deep Blue Sea
(x) George of the Jungle
(x) Canadian Bacon
Total: 5

I think I need to get a life...